can't get you out of my veins
by ElectricClover
Summary: PansyAstoria —- the heat of the city feels heavy around her and the constant clack-clack-clack of hurried footsteps falling on the cobbled pavement is deafening. they can never be, but they can also never escape each other.


_A/N: Written for the Houses Competition. 2D and AJ, absolute lads, thanks for beta-ing._

 _House: Ravenclaw_

 _Category: Short_

 _Prompt: Pansy/Astoria_

 _Word Count (excluding a/n): 940_

* * *

Astoria twists the silver engagement ring around her finger, sunlight dancing off the gleaming metal. It is beautiful, and expensive, and it is everything she has always been told that she should want.

She absolutely hates it.

"Are you ready to order yet?" A shadow falls across her table, and a chill that has no place in the warm summer's day washes over her. The waiter has come out to the patio to take her order for the third time in twenty minutes. He is obviously irritated, wondering what's taking her so long.

Astoria sighs impatiently. "I'm sorry. My friend should be here soon."

A look of pity flashes across the waiter's face. Astoria has been waiting for almost an hour, and it must seem like she's been stood up. Astoria almost thinks that she has.

It stings, of course it does. She is sitting in _their_ cafe, at _their_ table overlooking the Thames, where they have spent countless sun-kissed days together, people-watching and planning golden futures. Now, the heat of the city feels heavy around her and the constant _clack-clack-clack_ of hurried footsteps falling on the cobbled pavement is deafening.

The crowd of people parts momentarily, and a familiar figure emerges from the relentless surge of commuters. She sweeps towards Astoria, her smile a ray of light in the sea of indistinguishable faces.

"Darling!" Pansy waltzes to the table, leaning down to give Astoria a peck on the cheek. " _So_ sorry I'm late. I had a little date this morning and we just lost track of time."

Astoria doesn't miss the venom in Pansy's words, so reminiscent of the catty girl Astoria had known at school rather than the woman she had grown to love, or the hurt in her eyes as she glances down at her ring. "No problem. Shall we order?"

Pansy nods yes, and signals for the waiter who is still shooting them death glares as he clears up plates from inside the cafe. A smile touches at the corners of Astoria's lips as she asks for a black Americano. She has seen Pansy sip at that same drink so many times before, only now it seems like drinking it is a way to stretch out the almost comfortable silence that hangs between them. Any conversation will only be a painful reminder of the way things were.

"So," Pansy asks finally, and Astoria notices faint creases lining her face where there was once only smooth skin. "How's Draco?"

Astoria breathes in sharply because _that is so like Pansy;_ so like her to ask the one question that doesn't need to be asked, not when there is so much unspoken small-talk and pleasantries they could have worked their way through. "Fine. We're fine." The lie is sour in her mouth and she takes a sip of her too-sweet hot chocolate in hopes of washing the taste away.

Pansy's rosebud lips twist in a poor imitation of a smile at her words and Astoria can see how hard she's trying to just be okay with it all. "Are you happy?" The words are tentative, spoken softly and Pansy looks almost worried for her answer.

It doesn't come, though, because Astoria knows that lies have bought her too much time already and she can't live like that, relying on not-quite-truths, so if she does speak, it will be the truth. She's not at all prepared for what she knows will happen if she lets it out. So, instead, she stares out to a bench across the street, where a Muggle woman is kissing her girlfriend and their cheeks are flushed and they are so in love that Astoria can barely stand it.

Pansy follows where she's looking and laughs a humourless laugh, full of regret and things that could have been. "I guess they've got it easy, huh."

Astoria still can't trust herself to speak, so she just nods and they sit in silence for a while, gazing pensively at the entwined couple.

Astoria breaks the silence, a tremor running through her words. "It's not so simple, Pansy, you know that."

"I never said it would be simple," Pansy huffs.

"Draco is a suitable partner, a good match. After all that's happened, after the war, my parents need me to do it." Pansy scoffs derisively. She has never been one to toe the line and she resents Astoria for it. "He's not who I would have chosen, though." Astoria leans closer, pleading the other woman to understand. "You know I would rather have it the other way - _the old way_."

"And yet you chose the ferret," Pansy finishes cuttingly. She glances away. "Sorry, I thought I could do this, but I can't. I'm leaving." Astoria hears the bittersweet edge to her voice and knows that, although Pansy never cries, she is close to tears.

"Owl if you need me," she adds helplessly as Pansy throws her bag over her shoulder, leaving the half-full cup of coffee to stain the worn wood of the table. The other woman nods. In a rush of something that Astoria thinks might be desperation, Pansy kisses Astoria and it is exactly as she remembers it. She can still taste a hint of bitter coffee and smell Pansy's cedarwood perfume. Pansy pulls back and walks away from her without another word.

Astoria's eyes follow Pansy's back as she is swallowed by the crowd, then she glances over the light-dappled surface of the river. She waits until she can no longer pick her out from the hordes of tourists and commuters before she lets herself cry, shoulders shaking and the ring still glinting on her finger.


End file.
